The Kids of Integrity Challenge is finished!

The Shepherd's voice

The Shepherd's voice

In the past two months, we’ve had problems with Benjamin sometimes being quite mean to his younger sister. We’ve witnessed cutting comments, little physical assertions and callous selfishness. When confronted, Ben turns into a bristling porcupine, quills aimed right at us. What on earth has happened to our sweet, sensitive, gentle child who used to want to protect everything and everybody? If this is a “stage,” as others have suggested, I don’t like it one bit and I can’t wait to move on!

But for now, we have to deal with it, and part of our response includes praying that God would convict Ben of his wrongdoing and give him a servant-hearted love for Jess. For that to happen, Ben will have to learn to be attentive to the voice of the Holy Spirit. Now, I don’t know about you, but I sure am more inclined to obey someone I know and love rather than a stranger. So one strategy we’re working on is to deepen this kid’s relationship with his Creator.

In the Kids Talk With God section of the Attentiveness lesson, there are easy sample prayers that link to this very subject: 

• Dear God, please help me to listen to Your voice when You speak to me. Amen.
• Dear God, thank you that You are my Shepherd. Please help me to be like a sheep who knows Your voice. Amen. 

Combined with the Bible story called “Knowing the Shepherd – Jesus,” these set the foundation for a teaching time. From the first question, we had both kids’ complete attention. “If Aunt Helga or Uncle Dave or Oma or Opa walked in the door and called ‘Hello!’ would you know who it was before you saw them?” “Of course!” came the happy chorus. We had fun talking about that for a bit – how people’s voices differ and how they become so familiar.

We then discussed pets and their owners. Both Ben and Jess understood that many domestic animals obey only the voice of their primary caregivers. Rob talked about his cousin Richard who grew up on a farm. Each evening when it was time for the cows to come in from the pasture, Richard was sent to call them. He didn’t have to round them up. They simply knew his voice, loved him, and so, eagerly responded when he bid them come.

From there we piggybacked to shepherds and how several could come together and allow their flocks to mingle. The kids had no clue how each shepherd would be able to distinguish his own sheep from the larger, seemingly identical bunch. We explained how when it was time to move on, each boy would call in turn and only their animals would run to follow him. It was because the shepherd spent so much time with his flock that they came to know his voice so well.

And so it is with the best Shepherd ever. Jesus knows, loves and calls us. We need to spend time with Him to get to know His voice. The kids got the concept, but we could tell they didn’t have the tools yet to make it happen. 

Life, interrupted

Life, interrupted

It was a sunny Wednesday afternoon. I had picked up Benjamin and Jessica from school, prepared a snack and was about to get them started on homework. Without warning I felt a stab in the left side of my back. I figured it must be some kind of weird muscle cramp, but over the next 20 minutes, the pain worsened to the point that I sent the kids to play while I hid in the bathroom so they wouldn’t see my agony.

Later that night at the medical centre, the diagnosis was made. I had a kidney stone! I was sent home with a prescription and told to ride it out. The following week was a blurry rollercoaster of torturous anguish interspersed with periods of almost-pain-free calm. I never quite knew what was coming next. That made any form of independence impossible. I couldn’t look after the kids on my own. Even when I felt okay for a few hours, I wasn’t allowed to drive due to the strength of the painkillers. Offers of help poured in from family and friends.  

It took six days and 20 hours for the condition to resolve itself. At its most intense, the pain felt very much like the back labour I experienced before giving birth to Jessica. Each day we prayed for an end to the misery.

A few days into the ordeal, when yet another pain attack had just begun to subside, the Lord gently reminded me that the attentiveness lesson was meant for Mommy, too, and now would be a good time to pay attention to a few things He wanted to show me. Now? Are you kidding, Lord? I thought. The timing seemed crazy, but this is what I heard Him say:

• Some people live with chronic pain; you don’t always know who they are. Be kind and gracious to everyone.
• On a daily basis, be grateful and acutely aware of the privilege of good health. That blessed state can change in a heartbeat.
• Continue to be thankful even when you suffer because your eternity in heaven is sealed where pain will no longer exist. Current afflictions are a temporary condition.
• No matter what you go through, it will never come close to the excruciating agony that Jesus suffered for you on the cross. 

These lessons from God came through crystal clear. He garnered my complete attention in those moments of helplessness and used my torment as a teacher. The context was perfect. I find it ironic (actually, pathetic) that it often takes a crisis to get me to stop and listen. Why do I insist on a windstorm, an earthquake or a fire (1 Kings 19) to draw me out of my self-absorption? Why do I make Him shout when it’s more in His character to whisper? Why can I not just pay close attention every day? Life would be so much better that way.

 

The fox and the hound - all ears!

The fox and the hound - all ears!

The Kids’ Corner activity in the Attentiveness lesson was a huge hit with our two creature lovers. Making animal ear hats proved quick, easy and more popular than I thought. At first I wondered if Ben, who is now eight, would think it was a childish activity, but he’s the one who’s wearing his hat almost every waking moment that he’s not in school!

First we let the kids mull over what kind of animal ears they wanted. Ben was drawn to the oversized hearing apparatus of a desert-dwelling fennec fox. (I wish his ears were that sensitive!) Jessica waffled: horse . . . dog . . . horse . . . dog. She ended up going for the pliable, silky ears of a hound. We hunted for pictures in books to help us get the proper shape. 

It was fun to design both floppy and upright ears. Both kids started with a headband of brown poster board. I figured it would stand up to more wear and tear than regular craft paper. It’s also big enough that a strip goes easily around the head once. After we had them fitted, we covered the staples on the inside with masking tape because we found Jessica’s hair getting clawed and pulled whenever she took her hat off. 

Ben chose tan-coloured cardstock for his ears. We folded the paper in half the long way and drew a big, pointy ear. He cut both layers at the same time to make the shapes identical. Then it was simply a matter of colouring a bit of detail (dark tips, tufty white hairs, etc.) and stapling them to the headband. We placed them a bit more to the front so they would more closely resemble the forward-facing ears of a fox. The boy was ecstatic!

As I thought about Jess’ ears, I remembered a spare chunk of smooth fake fur in my sewing bin. Turned out to be the perfect, soft, floppy material. Another gleeful kid! (Gotta love those moments when Mom’s a hero!) Jessica and I drew a “trial ear” on paper, and once we were happy with the shape and size, we traced it onto the cloth. Cutting and stapling were simple and it wasn’t long before the girl was happily bounding around with her new “ear warmers.”

The icing on the cake, however, was the announcement that each time they were attentive and obedient, they would get to choose a sticker for their hat. Let me tell you, I haven’t seen them get ready for bed so fast in a very long time! Even now, several days later, they are often acting like they have been impeccably trained! Whose kids are these?!

Rob and I LIKE this lesson. We LOVE this activity! And we highly recommend it if your kids buy in like ours have! Four ears really are better than two . . .

Tuning in to attentiveness

Tuning in to attentiveness

The Attentiveness lesson never really caught my eye before, but recently we’ve been having those kinds of issues with our boy. I don’t know what’s up with Ben, but his brain is SO far away most days! Honestly, he would sit and stare into space for hours on end if we’d let him. And, boy, can he dig in his heels sometimes. (I wonder who he got that from?) 

In the Parents’ Prayer, the problem behaviours listed are: inattentiveness, ignoring God or others, stubbornness or lack of a teachable attitude. Ben doesn’t ignore anyone, but we certainly need to work on the other three.

Case in point: Our kids are required by their teachers to do 20 minutes of home reading every day. Rob was listening to Benjamin read when they came across a paragraph that the boy clearly didn’t understand. Rob suggested they go over it again. Ben refused. Rob proposed that if Ben did grasp the concept, perhaps he could explain it and they could move on. Another refusal. Rob tried one more time to get Ben to read it or demonstrate understanding. No go. It was time to deal with a stubborn heart.

Rob calmly explained that there would be no play time until the reading was done. And there would be no further reading until Ben was willing to re-do the paragraph or show comprehension. Ben was sent to sit on the stairs (the most boring place in the house). For well over a half hour, the kid sat there alone like an obstinate mule. When he finally decided to set his stubbornness aside, he cheerfully and eloquently summarized the troublesome paragraph in about 30 seconds and finished his homework without further ado. Grrrrrrr.

Unfortunately (fortunately??), Ben’s actions remind me of my own stubbornness and inattentiveness. My heavenly Father calmly lets me know that my day will go well if I hand every minute over to Him first thing each morning. But what do I consistently do? I don’t listen. I plan my own schedule my own way. And sometimes He makes me go “sit on the stairs.” Sigh. ANOTHER lesson just as much for parents as for kids.

Our chosen verse is simple and powerful: “Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise” (Proverbs 19:20).  (We put lots of different pictures of animal ears all around our Scripture verse poster.)

I want to be wise. I want my kids to be wise. I hope this lesson grows our desire to hear and heed wise counsel (and shrinks the headstrong, willful parts of our hearts). We could sure use the help.

Peace and Contentment 101

Peace and Contentment 101

Well, we’ve wrapped up our Contentedness series. It was the perfect lesson to straddle the holiday season and use in tandem with the Christmas lesson. I do believe our family experienced fewer “gimme-gimmes” and more “delight in giving” this year.

Two weeks before Christmas, Jessica came home from school with a present for Rob and me wrapped in a brown paper bag decorated like a little house. And for two weeks she danced around with anticipation and pleasure until we could open it. It was sheer joy for us as parents to see her take such delight in giving.

Both kids had also come to me independently asking for help to make a Christmas gift for their sibling. So we had a craft day and I spent time with each of them creating presents “in secret.” I loved seeing how both were completely focused on making their gift personal, beautiful and meaningful. Glitter and love covered the kitchen!

Our final contentedness teaching centred on verses from James 3 and 4 (Peace and Contentment 101). Because we had such buy-in last time when Rob paraphrased verses and had Jess read them, he did the same, only this time both kids read. Once again they really engaged because they were doing the Scripture reading.

Two great questions evolved from our discussion. We had just talked about treating God like a vending machine when Rob asked, “Is it always wrong to ask God for things?” Both immediately recognized that in many situations it’s good to ask.

To help them understand when and why, we offered some selfish and some altruistic examples. “What if I said I wanted a bigger car? Would it be wrong to ask for that?” Ben maturely responded, “We don’t need a bigger car. We love our car! We should be satisfied with what we have!” Then I added a twist. “What if I wanted a bigger car so we could take some of our neighbourhood kids with us to church every Sunday?” Ahhhhh! Their perspective changed in a hurry.

“Would it be right to ask God to make you the smartest, strongest, fastest, most attractive kid in your class?” Immediately there came a chorus of “NO!” that led to us identifying our motives for asking. Does our request benefit others or does it only profit me? The point was driven home.

The second question was, “Should we always agree with others? Should we be content to follow the crowd?” Ben knew that there would be times when he simply couldn’t agree with someone who believed in something that wasn’t real. Jess was less sure that she would choose to differ with a friend. To help her figure things out, we asked, “What if your friend said that God didn’t exist? What if someone said something that you knew wasn’t true? Would you still agree?” Once again, the right way became clear.

True contentment lies in knowing Truth and living it. What a great challenge to embrace!

Rich kid, poor kid

Rich kid, poor kid

Rob and I had a feeling our results for the “Rich Man – Poor Man” exercise might be atypical for two reasons: our kids don’t get a lot of screen time (no TV at all, occasional videos and computer time), and do get a lot more parent/family time than most.

When we outlined the “rules” for this exercise, the resulting squealing made our kitchen sound like a pig barn! The kids saw it as a total win-win situation. Being both rich and poor was going to be a hoot! Two solid hours of F-U-N!

To accentuate the difference between the haves and have-nots (and to make the “rich kid” feel more alone), we chose to have the rest of the family on an entirely different level of the house.

A good variety of treats was offered, but when it was their turn to be rich, both kids just wanted a handful of jelly beans and mini marshmallows! Go figure. I would have capitalized on that offer w-a-a-a-y more when I was a kid!

Jess was the “rich kid” first. She chose to spend her whole hour watching Shrek down in the rumpus room with her treats and a stuffie for company.

Rob and I hung out with “poor” Ben in the living room playing “20 Questions” (no toys or books allowed). He also wanted to play more of the “Contentedness Challenge” from earlier this lesson. Rob and I decided to spend the last 10 minutes affirming our son by talking about character traits that we were proud of (e.g., “We love the way you look out for younger kids and make sure they stay safe.” “We appreciate how diligent you are in school and like the strong sense of responsibility you show.”) Despite that, he seemed a tad bored and was eager for the hour to be over.

When it was his turn to be the “rich kid,” Ben chose computer time and spent the hour playing math games. He was so engrossed, he didn’t even finish all his marshmallows!

Our computer is on the main floor, so we went back to the rumpus room with Jessica. Her first activity choice was no surprise. “LET’S WRESTLE!” she crowed. It was Mommy and Jess against Daddy. Funny how a five year old managed to “pin” a very fit adult man, but when I tried my best, I didn’t stand a chance! (Maybe because I was laughing too hard?) We also played a bit of the “Contentedness Challenge” and affirmed our girl as well.

After everything was said and done, the final verdicts rolled in. Both kids preferred being “rich” because the screen time was such a treat. Jess didn’t mind being by herself at all, but Ben admitted, “It felt different being alone on the main floor.”

When asked how they would feel about being “rich” for a whole day, Jessica’s eyes shone. “That’d be GREAT! That would be SO much FUN!” Ben hesitated. “I don’t think I’d like to be alone that long.”

I’d still call that one more solid layer on the “contentedness piñata.”

Credit cards, contentment and burned down houses

Credit cards, contentment and burned down houses

Recently, Rob and the kids came down with some kind of nasty cough and fever bug. So on Saturday, we decided to do “church at home” the following morning. I was wiped from being up with crazy coughers all week, so I slept in. When I did manage to crawl out of bed, Rob was scribbling furiously at the kitchen table with his Bible open beside him. My curiosity was piqued.

When “church time” rolled around, we discovered that he had been paraphrasing verses so five-year-old Jess could actually do the readings all by herself. She was thrilled! It made her feel very grown up and involved. So, as listed in “Gifts from God” in the Bible Stories section, she read 1 Timothy 6: 6-10, 17-18.

We ended up having a fabulous discussion about credit cards and overspending. Our kids love real-life examples, so I told them about a woman I used to know who got herself into a lot of hot water because of her love of clothes and the fact that she wasn’t content with what she had. We linked that with the idea that if we don’t have the money for something, maybe we shouldn’t buy it. It would be better to hold off until we saved enough or perhaps decide we don’t need the item after all. Ben and Jess nodded emphatically.

Then we talked about folks who think that fat bank accounts or lots of possessions will make them happy. We piggybacked on the story of Solomon (“Who or What Owns Your Heart?”) and how his foreign wives and great wealth pulled him away from God. The kids were impressed that he finally figured out that NOTHING is as valuable as a right relationship with the Lord and an attitude of contentment.

To drive home the point about things being insignificant in the big picture, we asked Ben and Jess how they would feel if our house and garage burned down that night. What if we escaped the fire with nothing but our pajamas? Their eyes went wide at the thought and we could hear the wheels whirring in their little heads. “Nothing?” “Yep. Not a thing. All your toys, books, stuffies, clothes . . . everything would be gone.”

The idea stung, but slowly they realized that our family, friends and neighbours would probably pull together to provide us with essentials: food and clothing. And God will always be with us. Our quote from The Contentedness Challenge came back loud and clear: “If I have food and clothing and God, I can be content.”

It feels like this lesson is wrapping our hearts in layers – kind of like “contentedness piñatas” with the treasure inside! Rather than enormous AHA! moments, God is gently forming a substantial understanding of personal satisfaction by using thin, silky coatings – building one on top of the other for durability. Keep those layers coming!

The Contentedness Challenge

The Contentedness Challenge

CAUTION: It is advisable to sit down in cushioned surroundings while playing this game. There is a strong possibility you may fall over when you hear some of your children’s questions and answers.

When we chose this game (from the Practical Suggestions) as an activity that might lead to good discussion, we had no idea what an understatement that would be.  The rules are basic. When asked, “Can you be content without ______?” just answer honestly and then say, “If I have food and clothing, I can be content with that.” We also qualified that our answers were based on being content on our own strength. (With God, all our answers should be yes!)

Jessica almost turned herself inside out begging to be the first one to ask a question. I had no idea what she was thinking. Here’s what she said: “Ben, could you be content without God?” Three jaws dropped. Ben sputtered. “Of course not! If I have food and clothing, I can be content with that.” That’s when we realized the second part of the response was inadequate. We changed it to, “If I have food, clothing and God . . .”

Ben asked me if I could be content without a fridge and freezer. My mind raced as I thought of the hassle of trying to keep food from spoiling from April to October. Honestly, I had to answer, “No, not unless we moved to a very different culture.”

I asked Jess if she could be content without her stuffies (her very favourite toys). After contemplating that proposition for a moment, her reply was carefully measured, “Yes, I think I could be.” Whoa! I believed her, but that’s not what I expected!

“Daddy, could you be content without sunshine or being able to go outdoors?” “No.”

“Benjamin, could you be content without any paper or books?” “No.”

“Jessica, could you be content without any sweet things to eat at all?” “No.”

“Mommy, could you be content without your kids?” In a microsecond I tried to imagine life without them. “No.”

“Everybody, could you be content with only one change of clothes?” Our mini fashion queen was the only one who answered no. I said yes because I was thinking how simple laundry would be!

“Daddy, could you be content without coffee and chocolate?” Ooooh . . . that one hit a nerve. “NO!”

Ben asked all of us, “Could you be content living in a hut?” I inquired about whether the hut could be heated in the winter. Upon receiving an affirmative reply, we all hesitantly answered yes. Now that would be an adjustment!

“Daddy, could you be content without a vehicle?” “Yes.”

“Ben and Jess, could you be content with just one present each next Christmas?” Silence. They looked at each other. Finally replies inched out of their mouths, “Yeah, I suppose I could.”

And they meant it. I immediately had visions of a blessedly simple Christmas season. One gift each. No frantic shopping and wrapping sprees. Just lots of family time . . . a soft blanket of contentedness wrapped around us.

Decorating our home with godly character

Decorating our home with godly character

Well, the kids had a hoot sewing their mittens and deciding which character trait fit with which fleece. They’re quite proud of their handiwork, and rightfully so.

If you’re also working on the Christmas lesson, let me offer a few housekeeping comments so maybe you can learn from our mistakes!

• If you’ve traced the mittens, cut the pen part off in the cuff area or it will show when you roll them back (the cuff seam shows, but we don’t mind).
• At the same time, don’t make the cuffs too narrow (it’s hard to turn them right-side out if you do!)
• It’s hard to sew with a child on your lap because their head is right in front of yours (and very small children might be tempted to reach toward that sharp needle!). We decided each kid could help with a few mittens, and I would zip along on the rest by myself. Jess and Ben were perfectly happy with the compromise, but still got a good feel for helping guide the fabric. They showed great respect for that fast, sharp needle.

Now our mittens are done and slowly making their way up on the line. If we’d had more time, we could’ve painted our own cute clothespins, but as it was, I found fun ones at our dollar store. Cheap and quick! We just used a blue ribbon for our “clothesline.”

I hung the mittens just for the picture, but then they all went in a basket so the kids could “earn” them. It is so much fun to see how thrilled they are to win each one. And it’s a really good exercise for Rob and me to specifically look for and reward godly character traits. Gives us lots of openings to review past lessons.

The other great thing about this project is the “publicity” it gets when we have visitors. Just so folks didn’t think we made them purely for decoration, I made little character trait name tags and pinned them on to each corresponding mitten. This has prompted some great conversations with believers and non-believers alike. We’ve had such enthusiastic responses. Who knew these mittens would become a fantastic witnessing tool? I’ll be so eager to have them out each year.

The questions for discussion listed in the lesson made for an interesting dinner conversation one night, especially the one asking which fruits of the Spirit we see in friends and family members. We had the kids specifically identify individuals for each attribute. My heart was warmed when Rob’s name came up a few times (the connections were so accurate!) and I was also delighted when Cousin Katie was listed as the most kind and loving in the family. What a role model for her younger relatives!

So we’ll get back to working on Contentedness in January. Meanwhile, from our home to yours, we wish you laughter in the chaos, peace amidst the hectic pace and love that surrounds you completely. You are treasured by us, but even more so by our precious Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Merry Christmas!

Christmas character mittens

Christmas character mittens

While we’re having a blast doing the Contentedness lesson (especially at this time of year), we also didn’t want to miss out on the new Christmas lesson that was just posted. So we’re taking a wee break to do the mittens and the “review” that goes with them. We’ll head back to Contentedness in the new year.

I was highly amused at Ben’s reaction when I explained the sewing activity that accompanied the Christmas lesson. Never did I expect my boy to dance down the hallway squealing with delight at the thought of making mittens! He was SO excited to work with the fleece and decide which mitts represented which character trait.

We started out by choosing the attributes we really wanted to highlight this Christmas. I suggested we limit it to nine traits so we wouldn’t be sewing for weeks! (We can always add more next year.) Our selections came from both the fruits of the Spirit and any of the KOI lessons, whether we had done those particular lessons or not. Here’s what we came up with:

• Contentedness
• Generosity
• Faithfulness
• Joy
• Kindness
• Love
• Peace
• Self-control
• Patience

I pilfered fleece from my mom’s sewing room to expand our own stash but also checked out a couple fabric stores. One place did minimum 10 cm cuts but the other would sell no less than 20 cm. Had I bought fleece on sale, I would have paid about $1.00 - $1.50 per piece. If you live in a larger area, you might have access to a re-use or recycle centre where you can pick up fabric scraps for cheap or even free. Does anyone have any other ideas for getting your hands on small pieces of fleece? Feel free to leave a comment!

Our next task was to each choose our three favourites. That was quick, fun and easy. Then came the part where Mommy wasn’t organized enough. It would’ve been nice to have had a simple mitten pattern included in the lesson. I ended up loosely tracing Jessica’s hand and then fattening the thumb so it wouldn’t get too skinny once sewn. We also made the cuff longer than normal so the finished product could be folded back. I added a 1/4” seam allowance all around and then cut our “pattern” out of a cereal box. After that it was simple to trace onto the fabric using a permanent marker.

The kids had a bit of difficulty cutting two layers at once if the fleece was thick, so I explained how to flip the pattern over when tracing individual layers so we would end up with the correct side of the cloth on the outside of the mitt. With two of the patterned materials, we also wanted to get specific parts of the “picture” centred on the back of the mitt so it would be clearly visible and fairly even on both mittens. It took quite a bit longer than I thought.

We’ll do the sewing another day and while we’re working on that, we’ll assign a character trait to each pair. Hopefully I won’t be too engrossed, so we can actually have a “re-cap discussion” about the various attributes and how we, as a family, might live them out for Jesus this Christmas season.